5 Reasons Every Man Needs A Mentor
I had a very in depth conversation with a slightly older man a couple of days ago about the direction of my company, which is in its infancy stages. The conversation, coupled with his advice, brought something to light that I failed to consider.
The gentleman I had this conversation with was one of my two mentors. I came into contact with what would turn out to be my first mentor while obtaining my undergraduate degree. At that time, I can't say I was even seeking a mentor. But over time, I realized that this was a person going where I wanted to go. Thus, just like driving directions, you get as much information on how to travel from point A to your final destination.
My second mentor relationship began a bit different. With years of knowledge and understanding from my first mentor, I actually sought this person out to be my mentor. He happens to not only be a successful businessman, he is a great husband and father.
I think the nonprofit organization, Big Brothers, Big Sisters (BBBS) is on to something that all men can take advantage of. They have taken the mentor-mentee relationship and created a model that essentially transforms thousands of children's lives each year. Not that they were the first and only to do so, but probably the most notable.
In fact, leaders from the Black Fraternity Coalition met with BBBS officials last month to discuss attracting more minority men to the organization.
Having a mentor is something that all men should experience. Just as BBBS creates learning and bonding experiences for children, the same can go for men. A few reasons I think every man should have a mentor are:
1. Helps You Avoid Mistakes – The old saying, "experience is life's best teacher" is true. But with a mentor in your corner, you can bounce ideas off of him and possibly learn from what he/she has gone through. I can't tell you how many times, both personally and professionally, one of my mentors have been instrumental in assisting me avoid some small and large mistakes. I think men can learn so much from other men who have been down roads we have yet to travel.
2. Expand Your Networks – By securing a good mentor, you instantly expand your social, and professional networks. It never hurts to meet a new friend or associate. Plus expanding your professional network has never been more important than it is today. Job cuts and pure lack of available vacancies are making it a must that all means of avenues are explored. Today, not many jobs are offered to someone who simply completed an application or submitted a resume. People who get the jobs are those folks that know someone in a position of influence. With that being said, I'd strongly advise anyone seeking a mentor merely for this benefit to be careful. No one likes a person who is trying to take advantage of their relationship. Use the golden rule here.
3. Encouragement – No matter how confident or strong a man is, we all need some form of encouragement from time to time. Let's face it: there are trials and difficult situations that arise and we need someone to talk to. Maybe they are work, family, financial or even spiritual issues that are troubling you. There's nothing better than to express your concerns to a mentor who cares about you as a whole being, not just one aspect of you.
4. Unbias Advice – All of us have close friends that we share our problems with. But a gift and a curse with friends is loyalty. It's great to have loyal friends because you know they are always in your corner. But that loyalty can lead to a bias that skews what should be shared. With a good mentor, there's a great chance this can avoided.
5. Prime Yourself to Return the Favor – By having a mentor and learning many life lessons through that personal interaction, you are setting yourself up to be a mentor to another young man or child. That's one of the great things about this process. It allows you not only to gain knowledge from one person, you'll more than likely want to pass it along.
Combining a sense of wanting to learn with a person willing to teach can take men a long way towards where they want to go.
What are your thoughts on having a mentor? Are there other benefits you feel are important? Do you currently have a mentor? Let's discuss it below.
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Great stuff! I agree that having a mentor is an essential step in one’s growth. My strategy is to piece together the desirable traits and perspectives from the various (AMAZING) people I’ve met, and create a sort of Super-mentor from the lot. Unorthodoxed, I know, but very effective for me.
Thanks Akilah. I like your approach. I find myself doing that not only with my mentors, but books that I read. But I think that a lot of guys do not utilize either approach and as a result, miss out on a lot of knowledge.
It is great that you gents realize the importance of mentoring. To reach your fullest potential will require you to be committed to self development. My financial life is evolving into something greater than I ever anticipated. I discovered several millionaires that are my mentors. Transformation to the best “you” will require dreams, goal, vision, committment, dedication, purpose and a willingness to get out of your comfort zone. Courage is a quality that never goes out of fashion and there is always a market for it. Keep learning to continue growing. THE MAN THAT THINKS HE KNOWS EVERYTHING ALREADY DOES NOT KNOW HOW MUCH HE DON’T KNOW!
Peace and blessings.
Barry
Thanks Barry for the kind words. Author Charles Jones says “You are the same today as you’ll be in five years, except for two things: the people you meet and the books you read.” I totally agree with that statement. It takes work and a plan to get to where you want to go and knowledge is best gained by meeting people (i.e. mentors) you can learn from and reading books that stimulate thought and provoke action. I hope you’ll continue to follow us on our journey at Men’s Playbook.
AWESOME – I love this site I especially agree with this blog about mentorship. I have been looking for a mentor for my teenager for at least five years and people I know don’t want the responsibility though everyone knows teens today need more than parents they need the village!
REAL REAL REAL.
I call this the MANUAL.
You're lucky to have found two good mentors in your life. I have found it very difficult to find someone who is where I want to be and who is also unbiased, non self-serving. And even more rare is the mentor who is not only a successful businessman, but a committed husband and father as well. Great post
Thank you Jonathan. Yes, it can be hard to find those actually willing to help with no gain for themselves. But they are out there, trust me!